Tuesday, February 5, 2008

guest blogger...

from time to time we sometimes will have a 'guest blogger' just waiting to share his thoughts... here is a excerpt from his lastest writing piece titled, 'a day in the life of the lambert household, thru the eyes of a dad'.
here matt (the dad) shares what life has been like for him the past 4 months while he has been 'resting his mind' (unemployed). good news is he now has a job and we can REALLY enjoy this writing piece...

"... 5:15AM: Aiden sneaks into your room (sometimes with a flashlight, sometimes in the pitch dark), gets as close as he can to your face and shouts: “CAN I WATCH A MOVIE?”
5:45: Once Aiden is settled in front of the tv with juice, a pop tart and the Higgly Town Hero’s, you can try to go back to sleep. He might come for a second visit if he runs out of juice, poptart, or if he has already seen/doesn’t like that episode
7:00: Ivy wakes up. Slowly at first, she gives you a chance to get her but if you aren’t quick, she will be freaking out by the time you get to her crib. Once you stop gagging from the smell of her diaper, you need to scrape one inch of poop that lines here entire diaper. She might be giggling; she might be screaming; but either way you have to wrestle her to keep her from dipping her feet into the poop filled diaper. Give her the first bottle (it smells like vomit, so breath thru your mouth. She burps at least once and it smells rancid).
7:15: Hopefully 12 cups of coffee are ready, but either way you have to negotiate with Aiden to get him to eat his breakfast. During this, you have to alternate baby food and cheerios with Ivy. She is a good eater, but not very patient. Work fast and don’t lose the rhythm.
7:30: With luck you have eaten breakfast, cleaned the kitchen and downed two cups of coffee because it is music time. Harmonica’s, flutophones, drums, and shakers are in the play room. You may have to learn some songs that Aiden made up this morning so be ready. He is not very patient so you need to pay attention.
8:00: Music time is over, but whichever toy Ivy picks, Aiden wants and vice versa. Lots of screaming, crying, and arguing. Hopefully you have finished your third cup of coffee.
8:30: Ivy goes down for her nap (she is too little to put up much of a fight, but she does scream for about 1 minute). Aiden watches sesame street, so you have 57 minutes to go to the bathroom, and take a shower.
9:15: Ivy is up. Another diaper awaits. Aiden needs to be dressed too, so you need to use all of your creative juices to convince him (i.e. pick a superhero he likes and pretend like Aiden is putting on his super hero outfit. Hint: he likes Frozone from the Incredibles). Put Ivy in the baby bjorn (a carrier you strap on so she rides in the front facing forward) and start vacuuming. Hopefully you remembered your ipod because this might be the last chance to listen to adult music until tonight.
12:00: Lunchtime! Another round of negotiations with Aiden. Remind him that Frozone needs to eat in order to have super powers. Same drill with Ivy, alternate crackers with baby food. Don’t forget the second bottle.
1:00: Nap time! Wrestle Aiden in to bed. Same drill with Ivy.
3:00: Kids are up. Play time. See earlier commentary on my children’s sharing ability…
5:00: Start dinner. No matter what he asks for, he won’t want it when he gets it unless it is tacos. Sometimes hot dogs work, sometimes chicken nuggets. Always a fight. You won’t be able to talk about your day during dinner because Aiden wants to talk about something. Maybe his brother Jax (he has no brothers) or his pet dog Mango or Salsa (we have no pets).
6:30: Bath time (they both love baths but Aiden pretends to hate drying off. Brace yourself for a knock down fight).
7:00: Ivy in bed. Story time for Aiden.
7:30: Aiden under covers, lights out
7:35: Aiden needs water
7:40: It is either to dark or too light in Aiden’s room.
7:45: Aiden has something to tell you: he has no short version. Sometimes he plans your entire day for tomorrow.
8:15: You can relax, watch tv, or whatever. But don’t stay up too late because he’ll be up at 5:15…

3 comments:

anna and ben said...

hilarious! i can totally relate now (minus the talking).

ben said...

instant classic!

ben said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
love you.